Crying in the shower after yet another argument with your husband?
Thinking “If only he would really listen to me then maybe we could work together to fix the problems in our relationship…”
It’s such a heartbreaking place to be. I see you. Well, I don’t literally see you, obviously, because that would be creepy (especially in the shower). But that feeling of hopelessness, of desperation to keep your family from falling apart, of wanting to be happy and not knowing if it’s even possible…
I want to let you know you’re not alone.
Hey, I’m Peggy
I help women on the verge of divorce to fix their relationship and make it better than ever before, even if it feels impossible right now.
I know you’ve tried talking to your husband, asking him how he feels and hoping he’ll open up to you, but it only seemed to make him angry or even more distant. You’ve maybe read marriage books and tried telling him what you need from him but he either ignores you or gets defensive.
You may have convinced him to join you in marriage counselling and what a joyful experience that was (NOT)—alternating between getting everything off your chest or blubbering your way through a box of tissues while he spoke his painful truth (well, as much as a man can, because truth be told, he would rather poke his eye out with a blunt stick than talk about his feelings)—only to come out of the session feeling even more miserable and hopeless.
Your friends are tired of hearing you complain about him and they’ve insisted you’re amazing and he won’t change, that you deserve someone better… and yet, you can’t bear the thought of breaking your family apart and possibly having to start all over again with someone new.
I tried all that too and it didn’t help. Even though I was married to a wonderfully generous, smart, funny, hard-working guy, (all qualities that I had become very good at overlooking) my marriage was falling apart. We had two young kids and one on the way when my husband told me he didn’t love me the way I deserved to be loved.
I was heartbroken and desperate to keep my family together. I felt as though I’d failed. I was scared our kids would have to grow up in a broken family with a part-time Dad, but what choice did I have when he had made up his mind and already had one foot out the door?
I discovered there were things I could do to fix my marriage without having to nag or convince my husband to do anything at all. I found hope and inspiration from women who had gone before me and used The Six Intimacy Skills™ to completely transform their marriages.
I realised I was responsible for my own happiness (not my husband)—yes I’d heard it before (happiness is an inside job, yada yada) but it took a bit to work out what that really meant and how to put it into practice—and the more I worked on myself, the more my husband softened and came back towards me.
The missing piece...
The missing piece...
Despite what you may have been told…It only takes one person to fix a relationship and that person is YOU.
The intimacy skills are all about YOU.
I thought in order to have a great marriage, we both had to be actively working on our relationship together but I couldn’t force my husband to love me or to try harder. The more I tried to control him, the more he ran in the other direction. The intimacy skills are all about YOU. How you feel, what you want, how you want to show up and what you can take responsibility for (like your actions/reactions and your happiness).
You might be thinking…
“Why is it all up to me to fix our marriage? He’s made more mistakes than I have!”
I get it, I felt that way sometimes too, but I soon learned that as a woman, I was the one with all the power in the relationship. You get to be the one to decide what you want for your relationship, to be the bigger person, take the higher ground. You get to set the tone in your home.
When I focussed on becoming my best self, I felt empowered (not to mention happier, more relaxed, feminine and more fun to be around) and my husband responded to me differently - he was attracted to me. My clients say the same thing.
When I made myself happy, he enjoyed being around me more. When I showed my husband respect (I thought I was respectful before but it turns out men see it a bit differently to us) and stopped trying to control him, he felt safer to open up to me and our connection deepened.
You alone have the power to create amazing results in your relationship.
After experiencing incredible changes in my own marriage using the Six Intimacy Skills™, I was inspired to complete coach training and become a Certified Laura Doyle Relationship Coach and Intimacy Skills Expert so that I could help women like you find your way to a happy, connected marriage, even if it feels like you’ve already tried everything.
Spoiler alert, my marriage isn’t perfect (there’s no such thing) but it is peaceful and playful. We were headed for a soul destroying, drop-the-kids-off-and-try-not-to-fight messy divorce and instead I was able to attract my husband back and become the happy, appreciative, empowered woman he first fell in love with. The deep conversations and flirty texts are back, along with thoughtful gifts, family holidays to the beach and a deep knowing that my husband just wants to please me!
Still curious about me?I grew up in rural Australia riding horses and chasing cows.
A degree in Ag Science followed by two years on a cattle station in the NT gave me the outdoor adventure I craved (along with sun-weathered hands that wouldn’t look out of place on a Grandma).
I’m a (digital) card carrying member of the new CWA (Aussies, I don’t mean the Country Women’s Association, I’m talking about Controlling Wives Anonymous).
When I’m not taxi-ing my kids to various sporting activities, you’ll find me curled up on the couch with a good book or binge watching Outlander on Netflix.
I have a weakness for house plants. It’s not my fault some of them just don’t try hard enough to live.
I love to get creative, whether it’s painting, graphic design, sewing, upcycling old furniture or rearranging our house every few months (much to my husband’s dismay).
Serious self care is my secret to success!
It’s time
Let’s get you feeling supported, loved and laughing so hard with your whole family at the dinner table that milk comes out of your kid’s nose.
Please note, this is not for you if you are in a relationship where you live in fear of yourself or your children being physically struck, injured or intentionally hurt then your best next step is not to seek coaching but to seek safety.
Please reach out for support by calling 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or texting 0458 737 732.